The Echo

i exist, in my own sweet space..

covered in blanket of hope..

sipping the juice of karma..

trying to last, until the end..

if this is an act, I play me..

raw, rough, rash, rude..

im happy atlast, that i am me..

im in love with this new rotten self..

there were no rules,

who set them anyway?

i live, in my own sweet space,

away from the familiarly unfamiliar..

webs of complexity long gone,

innocent chirpings to excite me..

discovering this new me,

pealing the layers with intent..

wispers of tiny nothings

of little somethings

of renewed confidence

of reignited enthusiasm

of belief, of hope,

of tenderness and optimism.

take a ride

feel thy true self

while discovering that somebody

you call, me!

PS:  warm welcome to the two new followers!! thankyou galleons for being so lovely and kind:) this post has been taken from ~~stRanDS Of yaRn~~, my second blog. Do check it out and let me know what you think about it. Soul scripted is where I share my experiences with life and ~~stRanDS Of yaRn~~ is where I post my poems, articles, haphazard thoughts and disarrayed musings! Please extend your support and be generous with your comments:) I know you will NOT be harsh while commenting. Keep smiling to spread smiles..love.

It’s been way too long since I last posted. Months have passed and I still can’t stop thinking: "what to post?" To put all my confusions (about the topic for a new post) to rest, I finally decided to write. Simply write.

Post CAT there was sem-exam after which I travelled home. My college and home are situated at two ends of the country and so I travelled through the 'heart' of the country to be here. :P So busy was I enjoying the havenly bliss that, lo and behold! it’s been a month that I have been here. Lazy Blogger, that’s what I am.

I miss the kites now. Hundreds of them would dot the sky each day. I would climb the terrace every afternoon, to watch little boys on neighboring terraces muster the best of their kite-flying skills to out-fly and cut other kites. More boys racing through lanes, jumping over walls and climbing trees to get hold of the falling kites blown by winds and landing into people's homes, sometimes fields and bushes. My eyes feasted on beautiful kites of myriad hues and patterns two of which were my favorite. One had black-n-white chessboard pattern with nice red border. The other had broad kaleidoscopic print in lighter shades of orange yellow and green. The border again accentuated the kite's beauty. I marveled collecting kites that would sometimes land onto our terrace or into our backyard. I would then hand it over to the first kite-runner that reached me. In this little way I too tried getting involved in this age old tradition of kite-flying. It was fun!

It’s nice to see people in this village (yes that’s where I belong!) prosper. Though the quality of education here is not up to the mark, even girls are given equal right to education by their respective families. There are four schools in this little hamlet consisting of some hundred homes. Most are farmers. Selling milk to dairies is a new way of making money here. Land is the biggest asset these people have. Some farmers here own land worth crores!

Many little, and strikingly different worlds co-exist in this world. I have enjoyed living in two completely opposite places, one a cosmopolitan city and other a remote village. Both are my own. I feel chosen, and special!  

Finally, Im done with my CAT.  I appeared for the exam today and had a wonderful time, thanx to CAT,:) I guess it was great more because I was on my own n did everything and anything I felt like. There was neither any obligation of constantly talking to someone, nor was there any awkwardness of walking in silence with a companion. Not that I dont enjoy company, just that it was good for a change. Coming back to CAT, my exam was fine. The questions didnt make me go out of my wits(though I was all set to face them by clicking on the NEXT button:P).  I attempted a decent number of questions. However I doubt my accuracy. I had not practiced enough to manage a consistent accuracy. But overall it was a very good experience. More than anything else, I am glad I appeared for CAT! For the first time in my life I feel I have done something worthwhile :) :P Imagine the level of my satisfaction!! :D

I am a coward when it comes to decisions. I am  not bad at making decisions, but scared and weak at deciding independently. CAT is one decision I was always scared of taking. I dont remember how old I was when I first heard about THE (prestigious) CAT. My dad's colleague was preparing for it. He had some preparotary books on CAT which I happened to browse. I checked out a few english questions and thought to myself, "This isn't all that tough..I  should give it a try too!!". (What a (over)confident child I used to be:P) Though I always wanted to appear for the exam, I couldn't decide on things  such as when to prepare, how to prepare, whether  to appear for the exam this year or next..blah! blah! blah! Thats when the Gods had pity on me...and by divine intervention my friend entered as though to deliver a message from heaven(rofl!). It was this friend of mine who pushed and supported me, through thick and thin..made me prepare, enroll and finally appear for the exam! So if you are reading this, I just wanna say "Thank you Friendie...*HUGS*..luv you..*kisses*.."

P.S. Today I visited the famous K.C.Das & Sons sweets parlour at Esplanade. Actually I was very confused..and kept thinking whether to have fresh fruit juice or jhalmuri. Just then I spotted this beautifully decorated outlet and as usual, was confused whether to visit it or not. Though I was walking forward, my eyes were still fixed sideways at this eatery. And it so happened that I banged my head onto a bent-over electric pole!! Stunned, i tried to regain myself and walked forward still confused. Thats when i suddenly turned back and entered the shop(finally:D) I ordered RasMalai at first and RadhaVallavi later. As I sat by the table, with this typical Bengali spread infront of me I looked around at the mangnanimous, traditionally Bengali  interiors of the store. Probably I was the only non-Bengali around. Its was a perfect setting. Bengali taste, Bengali interiors, Bengali people, Bengali words...I was savouring few of the best Bengali flavours and soaking in a new-found "feel-good" space that I had created for myself in midst of strangers. I dont remember getting so much of an "in Bengal" feeling before while liking it too!

I just went through Soumi's blog. Man..what dedication! I was really impressed. After reading her blogs, I feel like a waste. My posts are boring as in they lack variety. I hardly have any readers posting comments. There is no way of knowing whether im actually improving with each blog or not.

Reading Soumi's blog n following all her fashion inspirations made me so happy! Her blog has opened a whole new world for me. So lively, vibrant, colorful, bright...more than the intellect such blogs are a treat to the eye.

I miss writing short stories. When I was in school, Pallavi mam would push me to come up with good plots for stories. Try my best I did, although I could never really decipher her true expectations.
Soumi has written some beautiful anecdotes. Her style is smooth..adorable. She will make a fine writer,I feel.

Hey I missed out on something very important! I forgot to mention that I have become a early riser these days. Inspired by Akash Gautam's blog, I decided to bring some discipline into my life. Hence the "early to bed n early to rise" bug! There were morning walks too! Waking up at 6.30am was the real challenge. I still find this one thing very difficult to do. But then morning walks are real fun and refreshing. I had only three morning walks[ :( ] but I loved the experience. With cool breeze rubbing past ur face, the morning chill causing goosebumps all over your arms morning walks are ever so refreshing and energising. A perfect day cannot have a better beginning. I guess the two girls who joined me for these walks didn't really feel in the same way. And so they donot want to carry on. One of them disappeared one the second day of the walk while the second could survive for no more than two! phew!  All said and done, for the record  I enjoy morning walks and Given a chance, I would be more than happy to continue.  

Probably God didnt know what a recipe of disaster he was inventing when he decided to give human's feelings! Why did He have to add them to our being in the first place?? I see no reason behind we humans needing feelings to survive. We could have done much better without it, thankyou very much!

No doubt having feelings means u can feel happy, excited, overjoyed etc when situations arise. However, when these same feelings make you feel sad, hurt, betrayed, not loved... you tend to go out of control. In such situations the feelings of melancholy outweigh the good feelings. The result is pathetic.

I have stopped crying these days. There are a host of reasons behind it. Firstly, I have shed alot of tears over last few years. I dont like to see myself crying like a feeble, helpless person. Secondly, nobody, not even the people for whom I waste those tears seem to bother about me shedding those priceless pearls. Thirdly, I believe what Akash Gautam says. Happy people are more successful. I want to be successful n it will help if I try n keep myself happy.

Together with so many people around, this life seems to move on at a steady pace. But it doesnt seem to care about anyone, it simply moves on. Man is a strange animal, always looks for company. Always wants to peep into the lives of others, always wishes to see a smile for himself on someone else's face! Well, whats the basis of such wishes? Why cant he just mind his own business n get on with his life? If your life doesnt wait for you or others, then why do u?

Why were we all given a family? Why did God give us a father, a mother, a sister or a brother? He gave us these relationships to prepare us for the larger family, that consists of innumerable people with who we are all destined to brush our shoulders as we move along. But then why separation? Why is there a "Goodbye" after every meeting?? Well, maybe to make place for others in our lives. Separation is the biggest truth of life. Be it your frens or your family, separation will come someday. We all need to be prepared for it.

What about those who lose their family n loved ones forever? what do you have to say about them? Well, I have no answer to this question. However one thing that I have realised in my days so far is that Life is a gruelling duel, where both the opponents are better than the other. Its an interview where the interviewer is a strict stoned faced man, where you have no idea whether your answers are pleasing the interviewer or infuriating him, where you get more nervous with each question asked! It offers you sweets at some points in time, n gives you that cold stare at others.

At the end of the day, its about being optimistic and enthusiastic. If Life takes over you like the Big Boss, you need to stand up to it with gallantry.

R e f l e c t i o n s....

I don't know what the river wants to say,
when sunlight hits the water, it spreads its ray...

I don't know why the birds soar so high,
when I look at them I cannot but heave a sigh...

I don't know why the flowers bloom,
when evening decends, they end their day in gloom...

I don't know why I think, without giving my eyes a chance to even blink,
when i suddenly wake up... lost... empty... and hollow, unable to even think...