My "Modern" Neighbours

The concept of " being modern" seems grossly misinterpreted in this country of ours. Having lived in metro cities across the country, I have been exposed to a major faux-pas in the way women from the upper middle-class and in their 30's interpret the term " modern".

Is being modern all about wearing western outfit? Is being modern all about speaking english even if you donot know its "this" and "that"s?? Is modernity all about going to late night parties, not caring about your aging in-laws and innocent kids? or, Is it about spending hours over the phone either bitching or bragging?

My answer to all these above is an in-your-face NO!!

Before I go further, let us take a moment and analyse the story of these so-called "modern" women.

Most or rather almost all of them have graduated from some local college in their neighbourhoods. They have never had a "life" outside home and college. They have all been married off at an early age and have husbands who earn much more than they actually need. Thanks to their husbands jobs, these women have migrated to the metro cities and live in neighbourhoods where the women in other families share a similar story.

Post this migration to metro cities they find themselves suddenly free, free to do anything and everything they feel like. The poor husband is too pre-occupied with work to monitor his wife. The aaya takes care of all the household chores and her kids spend a major part of the day in school. She is left with immense free time and complete freedom. Indulgence is the only activity that strikes her.

So she gathers all her new-found like-minded friends and plans a lunch, sometimes a brunch. The only thing these women discuss at these get-togethers is clothes, make-up and accessories. They all complain how wearing a sari or a salwar suit bores them, how it doesn't go down well with their status to turn up in a saree and, voila! they all decide to shun them- the Indian dresses!

And thus begins the saga of misinterpreted,misread and misconstrued trip down the road to modernity.

I have seen women in their early 30's shop for mini-skirts. Well, no harm in that but lady, look into the mirror atleast sometimes and realise that your unshapely legs, bulging tummy and hips do not grace that skirt. You are in a way only mocking yourself.

Even the likes of Rekha and Hema Malini, inspite of having a perfect body make it a point to turn up in a saree. Why then does an ordinary woman like you despise saree, our national identity?

A Reality Check- this is what these women need. I wonder what kind of an example these moms are setting for their kids. With time, tables shall be turned. It is then that these self-proclaimed modern women will realise that attire and self-indulgence do not define modernity. It is ones morality, knowledge, outlook and realisation of responsibilities that decide whether one is truly modern or no.

　

　

　

home away from home

Burrabazar among us mawaris is probabaly more famous than the seven wonders of the world! Many from the community have scripted their rags-to-riches story in the narrow lanes of Burrabazar. Some of the most successful "baniyas" (businessmen) can be found here dressed in crispy white kurta-pyjamas, chewing rajanigandha and spitting paan.

Hundreds of gaddis (business set-ups) exist cheek by jowl in the area's dilapidated buildings. However there is no "fierce competition" among them. A sense of mutual respect and co-existence lets harmony preside. A "gaddi", of all is a very humble place. Furniture here is minimal. Only a couple of mattresses covered in sparkling white sheets, a galla and images of Laxmi, Goddess of wealth and Ganesha, God of auspicious-ness is all you will find. Appearances are deceptive and this applies here too. So do not go by the humble interiors of a gaddi, business dealing worth crores is done here!

I do not know how and when I developed this "phobia " towards Burrabazar. Maybe it was the fear of running into those dark, perspiring, lungi-clad labourers earning their daily wages that scared me; or may be the sheer cacophony and disoriented-ness of the place repelled me. I always feared getting jostled, unable to gain control.

But then the best way of overcoming fears is by facing them, and face I did! Compelled by "shopping needs" and pushed by the urge to overcome the "burrabazar-phobia" I, one fine day, decided to visit Burrabazar.

As I marched into the marketplace, a certain sense of familiarity struck. Little did I know (but soon found out) that this place was just like any other marketplace in Rajasthan, my birthplace! It was a microcosm of sorts. Shops were named the way they are in Rajasthan. "Sohanlal and Sons", "Chandmal Sitaram", "Chhaganlal Shyamaldas", have you ever known shops named this way? Well, I have. You find them either in Rajasthan or, yes you guessed it right, in Burrabazar!!

Soon my ears began picking words in marwari from people's conversations. Bandhej and chunari (native Rajasthani fabric prints) sarees lay on display as I crossed them in shops, one after the other. Those perspiring labourers gave way to lovely aunties, some sensuous and others pot-bellied. (:D) Suddenly I felt releived, and safe. I looked around as gentle breeze from a nearby banyan tree caressed my face, as if to say, "Welcome home!".

Delightful mirth dwelled in me as I explored few more lanes around. Such was the aura, that I soon realised that one could easily pass off these lanes as  being those of Jaipur. I was overjoyed and wished I had "discovered" this facet of Burrabazar earlier.

"The leaving" was as difficult as "the coming" but this time the reason was completely opposite. This time I just didn't want to go! I wanted to explore more, shop more and in turn relish abit more in this new found "at home" feeling that the place was so generously exuding.

Alas! leave I did, but only with a will to soon return to my very own "home away from home". :)

( And oh! I had the yummiest curry-bhujia in one of the eatries there, it tasted just the way it does at home :) :) )

City of Joy?

Living in Kolkata is very different from living in any other part of West Bengal. I have never felt such strong presence of any city around me as much as I have done here in my 4 years of stay.

Its running helter-skelter,this city. There's sheer madness that i have felt- a madness to struggle today so that the tomorrow is secured. Tomorrow, however ushers in more such struggle. Everybody here is running, both literally and metaphor-ically.

There are so many people here, that a bus-stop sometimes resembles a fair ground. People, people and more, people! This definitely IS the population explosion that our books in school talked about. But you can't help wondering whether Kolkata is the city most affected by it.

This city has the more number of bandhs/strikes than any part of the country I have heard of. Politics was never so important in my life as it is now. In my stay here I have realised that political activities are capable of doing anything and everything to you.

They can make you miss your flight by causing a road block.
They can put a full stop to all your Christmas celebrations.
They can make them shut down the grocery store before you can buy your daily rasions.
They can also postpone my Advance Java exam by 12 days!!

Yes. Thanks to some useless nationwide strike on 31st May, my exam for that day has been postponed to 13th June!! This in turn made a friend postpone her Kashmir trip by over a week. Simply preposterous, isn't it?  In the name of "general welfare", political parties have begun interfering a bit too much into our private lives.

The degree of this interference is most if you are living in Kolkata. And why not! With a CM like ours, this was not far behind. What can be expected of a lady who labels a student Maoist before walking out of a chat show?
A maoist? Just because the girl questioned your governance? Is this how a CM is expected to behave? Definitely no.

Here's the link of how our CM fled the show, watch it for yourself.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vx-2SsI4B9U

I worry for the future of this city, for the millions of youth living here with dreams in their eyes, dreams to make it big..to reach the skies..to live in and still love this city.