I have been wanting to talk my mind for long. There was this new ‘wisdom’ that somehow dawned on me and I decided to peep in. I began to yearn for my “self”. I wanted to face this difficult, unyielding “somebody” within me. I had to tame her, establish harmony with this girl I hardly knew. And so I decided to talk here, through written words.
This blog is my reflection (so if this space bores you, live convinced that I am a boring person! :D). The myself that I see here sometimes surprises me. I see a positive, happy person, a keen observer willing to express, willing to talk..without bothering about anybody listening. There is no awkwardness, no calculated words; there's just me...and the flow!
What I feel, say, write and express here is not categorized into the correct and the incorrect. Everything is correct. Everything is incorrect. And still, it’s none of the two. There is no code. I don’t have to please. I can be me. This is precisely why it’s called “Soul scripted..”
And now the rambling I was rambling about!
I am a reserved person. I make friends, but only one among them becomes a fast friend. This is not because I want it that way. But this is because I have not been able to create a comfort zone with too many people. I have not met too many people like me. I can exchange a sentence or two, but beyond that I am available only to a selected few; or very few.
I would rather walk alone than walk with a forced company. I do not talk unnecessarily. I would rather stay quiet than talk about something I shouldn't or do not want to talk about. I want true friends. Even one friend will do, provided the person is true. I know i will find some more as I live on.
There was a time when I would pretend to be some other non-self. I wanted to make friends and so tried to behave in a manner which would please others. This way I made friends, but I lost the inner me, the true self that I was. Also, these friends I had were there only at their whims and moods. They were there only when they wanted to.
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and the blah!-s go on..phew!
Thanx for reading! I’ll buy you lemonade the next time we meet, I promise! J J
Good that you found her. I went through the same turmoils too. I've shopping buds,smoking buds,drinking buds,dancing buds,movie buds and 'buds' for every possible reason but I don't have friends,not even one. Once in a while,I DO meet people I'd like to be friends with but they just can't hear my voice in all the chaos.
ReplyDeleteP.S.DO buy me the lemonade,huh!:P
yeah!! lemonade :) :P
DeleteSoumi n Ahsan: Lemme no when u r available..;)
DeleteYikes. I haven't come across the unfriendly friend type yet, but make a few, make some good ones. :)
ReplyDeletePS: Only if lemonade travelled via an email!
Lucky you Zeebs! but If only one could get wat one wanted..sigh! like I said, there are good ppl, I have sm genuine frens too who I treasure for life!! BTW how do I comment on ur posts? last week I was reading "You're either a poet or an economist", n cudn't find the comment option newhr..duh..
DeleteIts nt dat easy to search oneself in dis world. The ppl arnd dun let us do that. Its gud that u at least made an effort. I jst hope u succeed in ur endevour.
ReplyDeleteIts nt dat easy to search oneself in dis world. The ppl arnd dun let us do that. Its gud that u at least made an effort. I jst hope u succeed in ur endevour.
ReplyDelete:-) Ahh,nothing like a glass of lemonade to beat the summer heat in Kolkata!!!!:-) Hmm,a reserved reticent individual...nice to know that there are plenty of us around in the blogosphere..:-)
ReplyDeleteHey welcome:) thnx for making me feel "at home" :D
DeleteI am glad you did..!
ReplyDelete:) welcome to Soul Scripted :)
DeleteNothing like this..!!
ReplyDeletethanku so much:) welcome to my blog!
Delete